Ugh why does every place I go to eat end up screwing me over. My stomach can’t take this anymore I need to be able to go somewhere and not feel like I’ve eaten a whole package of Ex-Lax Chocolate. WHYYY?!
Entries from April 2009
Afterthoughts.
April 27, 2009 · Leave a Comment
I had been having dreams about my recent break up, in them I would lose her, and well i’d be devastated anew each night watching everything I loved slip away once again. It sounds kind of stupid but it happened so I don’t really know what else to say. I perhaps have had trouble sleeping for that reason but since yesterday I’ve been able to sleep well and without any similar kind of dream. I hope this marks progress in my emotional state and means that I am beginning to move onto the next step in my life. I say next step but I mean just be able to live day to day without looking back at the past with remorse/regret even if it was mostly only in dreams. I don’t feel as troubled by the state of things anymore and perhaps that’s because If I can see she is happy then I feel that things are working the way they should at least a little bit. I don’t know what will happen with my in the future (near or far) concerning dating and love but I do feel hopeful for it. Although I’m still trying to find someone I think I could connect to I’m not discouraged by the passing of time. I won’t say “never again” to the past (i.e. giving my past relationship another try if and when the time ever arrives to do so) because nothing is for certain and the future is unknown but I also won’t say no to something new because nothing is for certain and the future is unknown. All we can do is hope for the best.
