I say hi you say low.

Well i’ve nothing to do once again…I suppose I could have gone out but then I couldn’t have wasted this perfectly good day could have I? In any case I guess I have work that needs to be done today for a tommorow that may never come. I’m sickened by the thought of it. Moving on to greater things…I’ve been thinking about language and I think that the barrier extends beyond letters, numbers, mumbles, jargon it is time. Language is a wall that builds itself in the seconds of a minute in the minutes of an hour in the hours of eternity…what is it that we seek? To communicate of course, we can’t find how to say what we want to say and find to our dismay that it’s all in disarray. What I mean is that time breaks things down making us unconcious of what existed in an earlier time and we forget that certain “language.” For example I rememeber laughing at the stupidest things as a child, and I say stupid as endearingly as possible, I even remember what those things were but I feel saddened by the dumbfounded state I find myself in because I no longer know what it is that made me laugh. I’ve forgotten the language of my childhood…as you see time goes by and we lose certain parts we forget what we knew to be true in a certain time period and it is replaced by something else or even worse by nothing. Emptiness of the mind as hollow as darkness itself…peculiarly enough we think that we’ve lost some ability that was only part of a stream that keeps flowing and never stops for us to learn what it is that makes it flow. Reality to me seems to be that we forget, simple as that, we forget and then we regret and eventually reject having known it at all so as to avoid having to face any realization that it isn’t there anymore. Fall out of reality with no sense of normality…it seems to lack composure. Stare at the world it will stare back but how they stare is merely perspective if that. I myself seem to be sucked back to reality many times either willingly or by a chain of events that slap me back to the ground and every time I face it, it looks the same like a dusty book on a shelf that I have no interest for but i’m too lazy to get rid of. Reality is something I inhabit and it inhabits me inch by inch I feel it’s sting penetrate the depths of my mind and eventually it’s immunized the paranoia, the insecurity, the melancholy. I am free because of this reality, I know what I see, touch, taste, hear, smell…I know because it is real and to state otherwise would be to imprison yourself into a absurd confinement where your mind is unreliable and only serves to speculate of alternate theories which could possibly maybe most uncertainly be true. “The world will burn green, sperm build again. My promise. Time is the mind, the hand that makes (fingers on harpstrings, hero-swords, the acts, the eyes of queens). By that I kill you” (Grendel CH.12). I retain my class.

“Someone Somewhere”

-Jason Reeves-

Someone is waiting
Someone who understands exactly how you feel
Exactly how you feel..
Someone is dreaming
Someone is hoping just that this will be the day
That this will be the day..
That you take your eyes off the ground
Out of the blue
And see that someone is looking right
Back at you..

Maybe that someone’s me
Maybe it’s meant to be
Lovers, strangers
Sometimes bombs fall quietly..
Maybe it’s chemistry
Maybe it’s hard to see that someone is the right one
I hope that someone is me..

Nobody’s perfect
Nobody’s perfect no one really knows the truth
All we’ve got’s a point of view..
And there’s too many questions
There’s too many questions and too many reasons not to try
There’s too many reasons not to try..

But you should take your eyes off the ground
Out of the blue
And see that someone is looking right
Back at you..
Where ya gonna go from here??
Cause everything you need’s out there
And you can have it if you dare
If you dare
There’s someone somewhere..

_____________________________________________

Alright so I watched this movie “Battle Royal” that my girlfriend had told me to watch cause she said she wanted to and I might as well since she was going to…haha. It sounds silly but it’s not I guess you enjoy talking about it and sometimes it feels like at least we can do things together that way even though she’s not here with me…it’s nice. Well anyways I was thinking and I guess that sometimes we let our inner fears dictate what we do and we let our distrust of others manipulate our actions. Really to trust someone completely is something wonderful because then you’ve nothing to fear knowing that they’ll protect you from any harm no questions asked. It sounds a bit cliché and I’d agree but truly how many of us can say that we can trust someone with evrything we cherish? I recall that I myself belonged to that category and I didn’t let even those who were closest to me into who I was but now even though there is vulnerability it seems irrelevant because the way this works is that the trust you have erradicates any sesnsations of fear that you might initially have had. Human minds are so fragile and so easily broken down into the basic of parts but what never seems to break down even in times that are tough is the will to keep going because of someone else. The greatest motivation that anyone will ever find is another human being because that’s when you have something to live for.

There is one and there’s two.

Enjoy the moment while the moment lasts, spending time while you can; the good is the best and nothing is really at rest for there is always motion even in between the notion that we live fixated in a concrete world becoming part of some finite mold which defines who we are and defies us from afar. The only thing time forgot to enslave was that wonderful thing called love that we’ve made, for there is one and there’s two in a world that exists eternally exclusively for you.